EMTSS?...Ernest & Maud's Tantric Sex Sessions? No. Probably not... Even Monkeys Tango Some Sundays?

... No... Wait:

Even More Tonto Short Stories, that's what I meant.

And it's here.

Or it was.

I'd had it two minutes when my mam came round for tea and now she's gone and nicked it.

On the upside though I did manage to read the first couple of stories and they really were rather good, how.

A Shrinking, a Holding Back by Fiona Robyn is awesomely awkward and painful and just... so well ended it made jealously glands swell up something nasty.

Appendage by Peter Parrish is just craziness and comedy and based on such a good character that I read it then reread it and then copied down some of my favourite lines. Which was also bad for the glands.

But, my seething jealously aside, this is looking like being a pretty impressive anthology. It does have some big names in and Amazon seems to think that Matt Hilton has written the entire thing but it's also got some really exciting less knowns and unknowns. Like me.

See?

I'm in it.

You didn't really think I'd be nice about stuff if I wasn't did you?

Anyways - I have to go and order a new copy. My mother is a thief.

Putting Myself About A Bit

"Ah ha!" I hear you cry. "I know what's coming, a pretendy whinge about self promotion." And you will be shaking your head and thinking "He loves it. Who wouldn't?"

And you're mostly right.

It is about self promotion. But it's not a whinge.

Promotion terrifies me. Still. Always. But I'm getting better* at it. I'm having training and everything.

And I'm branching out a little bit. And I'm inviting other people to come play too (more later, once I'm organised.)

But mostly, and most importantly, back to the self promotion. Cos, see, I've done - and am still doing - bookshoppy type stuff. Borders are being really very nice to me and letting me wander about thrusting copies of me book into unwilling hands, plus putting me on the 3 for 2 piles. Oh yes - buy two proper authors, get me for free! etc etc... Only, you know, I've never approached an author who is at a signing table. Ever. It's a very British thing that - if you talk to them you have to buy the book. It's only polite. So I'm trying something new...

I'm doing a Wetherspoons signing.

Oh yes.

A Bar.

With drinks.

And me.

With books.

Wetherspoons are even offering a free coffee to everyone who buys a book. 9987, a coffee and a comfy chair in a pub. What more could you want? I mean really?

Plus I have a "Lazy Sunday" coming up soon with Sarah Shaw, Rosalind Wyllie and Stephen Shieber. Also with coffee, in the Starbucks at Team Valley on the last Sunday of March. It'll be worth it, Starbucks do nice cake...

And finally, for those of you, like DJ, with nothing better to do try clicking here and scrolling down ever so slightly...

Gotta love those boys at Byker Books, they're proper mint. How.

*Have not recently danced/fallen over in public. But continue to accidentally say "chuffed to bits" when asked my opinion. On anything...