Fancy Getting Published?

Alreet kids?

Got another, yes, another, Kick Ass Cool Competition.

This really is cool, and actually, if I'm honest, in no way is it my Kick Ass Cool Competiton. It's Tonto's.

Oh yes.

Big Daddy Tonto is spreading the lurve boys and girls so make sure your toast isn't burnt. (I may have had too much coffee. And too many biscuits. And, apparently, have a craving for toast...)

"Here’s the cover for ‘Even More Tonto Short Stories’ - hot off the press!

Even More Tonto Short Stories

And even better news to announce … author Caroline Smailes will be judging the competition and helping to put the collection together.
The competition is open to new writers as well as experienced writers, as long as the work has not been published. Please click here for full details of how to enter.
Entry fee is £6.99. Everyone who enters will receive a FREE COPY of the book."

See?

You see?

How Mint is that?

I've got my entry almost finished.

Well, one of my entries.

I've got another one planned.

Maybe two...

Oh it's exciting.. I do wonder if Caroline is open to bribes...

Rachel Green - An Ungodly Child

I really far too good to you all you know that? Not content with one geet mint author interview I now have another.

Oh yes!

Admittedly they're coming along thick and fast due to my ineptness at meeting deadlines, rather than a hard hitting journalistic desire to hunt down and stalk authors but hey, what to do?

So for the next week it's all about An Ungodly Child, the debut novel by writer and poet Rachel Green.

An Ungodly Child follows Harold Waterman, an unlikely hero, and his summoned demonic familiar Jasfoup. When Harold is infected by an incurable disease when he meets Jedith, otherwise known as the Angel of Pestilence, he turns to the black arts to find a cure. Jasfoup is only too happy to help, as long as Harold can pay for his services. Meanwhile, the three angels of destruction are out to prove that there could be an antichrist, if only Harold would believe it. Gillian, Harold's vampire girlfriend, is not so sure.

Described by Amazon reviews as being "Intelligent, imaginative, and Very funny." and "warming, amusing and insightful. The use of imagination is inspired " this is a another must buy novel.

Luckily Rachel was able to take some time out from her (very) busy writing day to let me pester her.

Me and DK do another Wossy

1. At what point, or do you at all for that matter, begin thinking about yourself as 'a writer'?

I do think of myself as a writer, despite Nathan Bransford declaring it a reference to this somewhat controversial blog entry by Curtis Brown agent Nathan Bransford. Ever since I started being published regularly I have said: “I am a Writer.” It defines me. It's what I do. I used to be an Artist and to be truthful, I still make more money from painting than I do writing. "An Ungodly Child" has cost me around £400 in review copies and postage and publicity and freebies and the printing of postcards and the like.

People still look at me and say "but what's your real job?" A visitor to the house once said "Hi Rachel, are you writing something interesting, or just your book?" (To be fair, she also looked at my painting and said 'Is that some kind of art?') Now I answer them: Writing is a real job. Look: Here is my book. That’ll be £8.99 please.

2. If you're anything like me then completing that (hopefully) final draft was truly glorious. The process immediately after that, so often littered with rejections and hopelessness was not so fun. Can you talk us through how the process went for you?


It wasn’t easy. “An Ungodly Child” was my first novel and was truly rubbish. It was originally cobbled together from a series of connected short stories and had no arc and virtually no development. I sent it to a few places and had it rejected, then sent it to WordWise Edit in Sheffield for a professional opinion. Miranda gave it a glance through and sent me a few notes back. I completely re-wrote it, using the original as a series of plot points and surgically added a spine, a major plot and several subplots. Then I left it for six months, edited it again and sent it of to the Undiscovered Authors competition in 2006. It won the runner-up prize of publication plus £1000 after publication. It took another two years and several more edits, but appeared on Amazon in December and in a few bookshops in February. It didn’t get the publicity I was hoping for, however, and was never officially ‘launched’ by the publisher.

3. Your book, like much of my own work, seems to be about isolation. Isolation and a desire, a need perhaps, for acceptance. Is this a common theme for you too? And what came first? The theme or the story?

The theme, I think. My first novel (that I never count because I never finished it) was about an immortal woman searching for a home after hers is destroyed by the 5th legion of the Roman Army in 438AD. She was very much a loner. In some ways Harold’s childhood reflect my own (though my father wasn’t the Devil) in that I was something of an intelligent-but-lonely child too. I found acceptance and a huge extended family and so did Harold. I wish I had a Jasfoup, though. In all the books I write (and I’ve written four sequels) there is the element of a loner gaining acceptance (or a spectacular failure of it.)

I will also throw in 3 questions from my blogbuddy Disco Kettle. They will go like this:

1. Fzzzzt?

In aviil psstngg. *chuckles* Ocibibibib narloop.

2.Fzzzt fzzzzzzzzt fzt wheeeeeeeeeeze?

Bloogning, Abibabin nawr, pssingssin drenooootish

3. Fzt gurglrgurglrgurgle click?

Ah! Earrlybip Greyinganizzt, os gringing babbbylizzt.

I also write a feckbucket of poetry. I start the day with a cinquain, a haiku, a tanka, a fib and a senryu on my Livejournal and at some point in the day I generally post a photograph and a poem to my dogsbite blog. I also write Jasfoup’s blog and a short vignette to Laverstone Tales . After lunch I work on the current novel, editing or whatever. Sometimes I take the afternoon off. I generally stop working at 6:00 PM


Plus another kick ass cool Competiton

Did I, or did I not say I was far too good too you? I think I did you know. And now look. Hot on the heels of one competition I now have a new, equally EditTastic competition for you.

In no more than 50 words (always fun I know) a flash story regarding someone needing or wanting or getting or being denied acceptance. Tough eh? I'm a mean bastard I know, but hey, it's something to play with. Physical and social acceptance like the example Rachel has had a go at or, you know, try something a bit different. Be a bit weird.

You know me, I like a bit Weird...


Harold dropped his coin in the slot and pushed against the barrier. It didn’t move. He rattled the release lever and tried again. Still no result.

“Why can’t I get in?” he asked the attendant of the Savoy Gentleman’s Conveniences.

The porter scowled. “I don’t like your faeces,” he said.

Sue Guiney Competition. Finally I Announce The Results

Morning kids,

Apologies for my general crapness of post over the last week or so. Damien Duff broke my laptop.

Luckily (?), now that I’m back at work, I can make good use of school resources and post from here instead.

So.

The Sue Guiney Competition results.

It was a really close run thing, we had some excellent entries and I’m impressed that so many of you had weather rubbish enough to warrant sitting in front of a computer screen trying to edit your way down to 50 words.

Well done all you pastey pastey people.

In the end it came down to two which Sue and I debated for a while.

“Lauri’s is “right scary,” and Jamieson’s is heartbreaking. How to choose? Do we have to?” Was Sue’s thoughts.

But she’s nicer than me.

Two winners?

I think not.

There can be only one.

And so, like I said, it came down to “right scary” or “heartbreaking”.

And, well, you know me.

There are two routes to my heart.

Lesbian Nurses.

And “Right Scary”

So, without further ado, the winning entry:

Lauri Kubuitsile

“An arm in the corner, a leg in the truck bed, the headless torso folded in the pink blanket- like a human slaughterhouse or a fun fair for serial killers, she smiles thinking unsuitable mother thoughts. The baby screams and she dreams about the silent deception of her first doll.”

A worthy winner so congratulations Lauri.

Lauri chose pages 155-160 as she chosen excerpt and so anyone interested in a pdf copy email me at nikjonescompetitions@gmail.com.

Grace remembers a special birthday dinner she had alone with her husband in London. Years later she can still recall each dish, each taste, and the important role that meal had in the realization of the shift in her relationship with her husband.

As I said, it was really close, so close in fact that, even thought there can be only one excerpt choice Jamieson’s entry was indeed so heartbreaking that I think it deserves to be seen by all too.

Jamieson Wolf

“I was twelve when my grandfather died. My grandmother jokingly said to him: Lets play 52 Pick Up! When he went to pick up the cards, my grandfather fell and an ulcer burst. He died instantly. I haven’t played any card games since that day. They remind me of death.”

Congrats to Lauri and to Jamieson and thank you to all those who entered, don’t worry if you didn’t quite manage it this time, tomorrow I’ll be started a new competition you can have a play with.

So,

Tune in next time for another exciting Blog Tour:

Rachel Green and An Ungodly Child

Tangled Roots - It's Getting Competitive

C'mon kids, there is still time.

The competition closes midnight Saturday and the winner announced and published Sunday night (relegation issues allowing. Wins for Hull and Sunderland will not be appreciated and will mean a delay I'm afraid as my laptop is a long way from the bottom of the bottle).

We've already had a good response, including a few international entries, and the quality is very high.

But, y'knaa, shy bairns get nowt and all that.

It's only fifty words remember...

Tangled Roots: Sue's Interview and Geet Mint Competition

Morning kids,

As promised this week I am hosting the muchos talented Sue Guiney.

Sue is a writer, poet, playwright and, occasionally, a teacher of her From Words to Notes workshop. So, obviously, is quite busy and it is this, as well as her wonderful writing which makes this week such a pleasure.

So, without anymore adoing (I know you all love an ado but DK and me spent geet ages putting our questions together and so I want them read. Cos they are mint. Obviously. As are Sue's answers of course)

Me and DK do the Wossy:

1. At what point, or do you at all for that matter, begin thinking about yourself as 'a writer.'?
I wanted to be a writer from the time I was 8 years old, but I didn’t dare start calling myself a writer until I was about 50! I still have trouble saying it out loud as if it’s a title I don’t quite deserve. For me the change came with the publication and production of my poetry play, but I wish that wasn’t the case. I do believe that if you choose to spend your time writing, and if you see the world through those sorts of eyes, then you are a writer. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve published or if you’ve published at all. It’s a testimony to my own hang-ups that I couldn’t apply that to myself.
2. If you're anything like me then completing that (hopefully) final draft was truly glorious. The process immediately after that, so often littered with rejections and hopelessness was not so fun. Can you talk us through how the process went for you?

It was a very long and arduous process but I’ll try to be brief. “Tangled Roots” was actually 2 novels woven together, so I had a first round of “good” rejections (ie publishers who loved it but couldn’t market it for whatever reasons). When I realized that the “sequel” I had been writing was actually part of that same first novel, I pulled the first one and waited until the combo novel was ready to go. We then shopped that around to the “big boys” in New York (my agent — unfortunately now retired — was American) but had the same results. I was getting more disillusioned (not to mention older) by the day, so I eventually gave it to bluechrome to consider. And although he urged me to first show it to larger UK houses, I was fed up and agreed to let him publish it. So it was a real roller coaster of a process spanning several years, with incredible lows of hopelessness, as you mentioned, followed by one or two big highs. But I must admit that now that I’m finishing up my second novel, I’m not expecting the process to be any less arduous this time. But that’s the game, isn’t it?
3. Your book is (as I read it anyway) concerned with what makes us who we are, the quirks of fate and genetics that make up our personalities. Is this a common theme for you? And (a two parter here I'm afraid) what came first? The theme or the story?

It seems that my first impulse for any piece of writing is character rather than theme. I imagine characters and find myself needing to place them into fictional surroundings. The themes follow after, but soon after. There are many themes that run through “Tangled Roots” I think. Many of them appeared during the course of the writing. The theme of identity, though, was indeed the first one that I felt the need to write about. The experience I am having with the novel I am completing now is different, though. When I began to write this one, I understood I would be devoting several years to the project so I knew the theme had to be something important to me, something I felt compelled to address in my own life. So this time, the main character, setting and primary theme all came together at the same time. Once again, the theme of identity is involved, but it takes a back seat to ideas of guilt and responsibility.
And now for the important questions:

1. Fzzzzt?
As often as I can but only in the mornings.
2.Fzzzt fzzzzzzzzt fzt wheeeeeeeeeeze?
Usually not, or at least not that I will admit to.
3. Fzt gurglrgurglrgurgle click?
By hand and surrounded by as much quiet as possible.



Me, personally I'm almost finished Tangled Roots and have been enjoying every page - I'll be treating you to my review toward the end of the week - I know you're all very excited.

But, if you remember from waaaaaaaaay back at the top of the page we've got a competition for you too.

And it's a bit of an odd one.

It will require your writing pencils to be sharpened and your typing fingers to be flexed. It will, I'm sure, also require your big red editing pen to be fully charged and ready to go...


So, here we go:

The Tangled Roots Writing Competition

Right. Sue has, very kindly, offered us descriptions of a number of excerpt from Tangled Roots. She has carefully selected some of her favourite sections and is now putting one of them up for grabs.

What you need to do is to select the excerpt you want to see made downloadable and include it with your entry. The winning entry gets to choose the download.

Simple as.

Ish.

Cos, you know, I like putting a maximum word count on things. It makes you all work harder.

So.

In no more than 50 words:

Write about an event that sparked a memory or shaped an identity.

How tough is that?

I mean really? That's harsh no?

Entries to nikjonescompetitions@gmail.com please and please include your choice of excerpt from the list below.

1. pp 66-70 John goes to a baseball game with his best friend, Marty, and Marty’s 2 kids. Sitting next to Marty’s 8-year-old son, John finds himself remembering the painful summer of his adolescence when he did nothing but play baseball as a way to avoid the troubles between his parents. 2. pp. 155-160 Grace remembers a special birthday dinner she had alone with her husband in London. Years later she can still recall each dish, each taste, and the important role that meal had in the realization of the shift in her relationship with her husband. 3. pp 233-235 John attends a High Holiday service in Moscow’s old synagogue. Sitting next to his friends and hearing them tell about their ancestors and the generations of their family that had attended that very synagogue, John finds himself reconnected to his own past, a past he had hardly known about. 4. pp 263-267 Grace goes back to her parents old home, her childhood home, to clean it out after her mother’s death. While there she remembers a card game she used to play with her parents and sister, a moment in her childhood that helps her understand who she is as an adult.

More Freebies!

More free stuff for yous, cos you're mint.

Well some of you.

Go see Stu at Tonto, he's giving away free copies of Tonto books. So it could be 9987. Or it could be Make It Back. Or Everything You Ever Wanted. Or Being Normal. Or any, really, it's up to you.

Simply email Stu telling him which you book you want and why. The only proviso is that you have to agree to review it on Amazon afterwards.

How nice is he?

A Movie About My Book About Movies, Plus: Another Kick Ass Cool Competition...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-0fDmO4ry4

You see? You see? How cool is this?

I am so very impressed with this, produced by the multitalented Jamieson, off his own back and everything. He said " I wanted to do something that would capture three things: the movies, the blood and the waiting." And I think he managed it wonderfully. What do you reckon?

Plus: Another Kick Ass Cool Competition

I've "borrowed" this direct from Jamieson's blog - I hope you forgive me...

My novel Hunted is out in paperback and I just got my author copies!

I’ve been trying to think of something special that I can do, some really neat contest that will get the word out and let everyone know about Hunted. It really is one of my favourite novels that I’ve written and everyone should read it.

I’ve been thinking about this contest for two weeks and I just thought of what I should have done two weeks ago. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner!

A lot of Hunted revolves around the world of Soaps. It’s a paranormal thriller that takes a look at satirical look at Soap Opera’s.

You know, those daily shows where Cindy is sleeping with John, butJohn is really in love with Kelley, Cindy’s sister and Kelley’sdaughter Gabriel is really John’s daughter but she can’t bring herself to tell Hunter, her husband, who is sleeping with Kiki, the French Maid, who is really a spy placed there by Cindy’s and Kelley’s fatherVictor, who runs a large corporation whose main goal is to take over the world but not if Dustin, who is in love with Victor’s daughterLois, has anything to say about it….

Um, yes, lost track there for a moment. I think that’s the longest sentence I’ve ever written. But you see what I mean right? We all love Soap Opera’s, whether we admit to it or not.

So, I thought it would be neat to have my ownFANTABULOUS AND FROTHY SOAP OPERA CONTEST!

Here’s what you have to do: Write a scene from a soap opera!

There are a few (pesky) rules though:

1- Scenes should be up to three pages of type maximum.
2- Scenes should be in script format

Don’t know what a script should look like? Don’t worry! Download Blackwood, a Hunted Series Script, for free! Click the link below:

http://www.box.net/shared/ftbyhnqb7o

It should give you a good idea of how to do things. You don’t even have to put stage directions or notes, but that’s all up to you. Oh, and since everything comes in threes, here’s the third rule:

3- The scene can be about whatever you want!

That’s right, I want you to have fun with this. Make up your own soap opera or write a scene that you’d like to see from Days of Our Lives or General Hospital. As long as you have fun and keep under the three page limit, you can do as ever you please!

How fun does that sound? Super fun? Totally fun? How about Fantabulous Fun!

I know what you’re all thinking: that’s all well and good, but what do we WIN?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Here’s the scoop: five scenes will be chosen from a small jury (I know people who know people after all) and the authors of those five scenes will win a paperback copy of Hunted!

I know! How super cool is that?

Send your scene to jamiesonwolf@gmail.com by no later than February 28th. Winners will hopefully be announced in early March.

Well... I know how I'm spending my weekend then, I'd advise you to have a go yourself...

So put your writing hats on, get some soap and get writing!