Thursday 8 October 2009

Nik And The Library Book Club Drink Free Coffee

INT: Library basement, early evening.




A stark white room, clean and functional in a converted basement. Above a long, narrow window allows some natural light to fall into the room. In one corner is a coffee machine and stacks of compulsively neat coffee cups, saucers and single serving milks. The foil pull tab of each of the milks points to toward the opposite wall. A dozen chairs are placed in an equally compulsive semi circle all facing toward a projector and screen unit which has been wheeled into a corner. Next to the projector unit is a table containing copies of THE NOVEL IN QUESTION.


In the darkest available corner THE WRITER sits sipping at coffee and staring at the entrance.




ENTER: OLD LADY WITH BAG and NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY. They both shuffle toward nearest chairs paying THE WRITER no attention at all. NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY pauses just before she sits, glances toward the table containing THE NOVEL IN QUESTION.


NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY : Better see what all this is about then.


She picks up a copy of the book. Turns it over. Turns it back over.

NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY: 9987?


She frowns and replaces the book.


OLD LADY WITH BAG: One of those hi-fi things is it?

NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY: Hi-fi things?

OLD LADY WITH BAG: Yes, those future stories.

NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY: Oh, you mean sky-high?

OLD LADY WITH BAG: Do I?

NOT AS OLD AS OLD LADY WITH BAG BUT STILL QUITE OLD LADY: Yes dear.



*Story may have been stolen from events not at all connected with the writer or the book club.


But I did get coffee.








Friday 2 October 2009

A List Of Obsessions What Megan Has Made Me Do...

Ah-ha. Like that is it? Tagging eh? Sounds like a challenge that mind Taylor.

Alreet then, since I'm still transmitting (as far as I know) I may as well keep myself distracted. It is, certainly, better than the marking that I am staring at at the moment.

So. I've been asked to admit to 5 obsessions. Megan seems to have cheated a bit I think on hers but I see her point.

Do I have obsessions anymore noteworthy than the average non-radio-frazzled mortal? Hmmm. I dunno.

See my brother used to have an obsession with clothing labels. Not, you understand, in a fashion conscious sense. No. Rather in a tactile stroky sort of sense. And no, I don't even mean the quality of materials of the clothing.

I mean the actual, physical label.

He used to wander up to people, put his arms up around their necks (he was quite small at this point) and make a "hug-me-cos-I'm-small" type face. Then he'd fondle the label of their tops.

So, obviously a little disturbed by this, my gran then cut the labels out of all our clothes to try and stop him.

He cried until mam cut up one of satiny scarfs for him.

He wore that through over the next six months...

See, now that's a good obsession.

And I used to have a friend that was obsessed with picking at the skin on his finger-knuckle-joint thingy when he sucked his thumb. (Again, this was a little while ago.) He spent so long sucking his thumb and picking at the skin that eventually created a fleshy sort of build up of skin on that knuckle that he would prod into shapes.

It had to be cut off.

He now plays with Bluetac.

And again, I can't top that.

However, I've been challenged, so I've got to get something down don't I?

So fine:

1. Coffee
2. The phrase "juggling monkeys"
3. Discovering who stole my Woody Wood Pecker T Shirt
4. My Saturday night Chinese (172 & 174 with Crispy Spring Rolls) with my Geet Mint PR Guru.
5. Finding new ways not to mark; to plan lessons; to teach lessons and to spend more time with my Geet Mint PR Guru...

Oh... And so now I have to tag people don't I?

Hmmm...

Ok:

Rachel the Recording Lady
B the Suspiciously Absent Lady
Stephen the Short Story Writing Man
Jen the All Over Crazy Lady

and, but of course:

My Geet Mint PR Guru Lady