Tuesday, 25 May 2010

I am Teabag, hear me Lecture

I lectured the other day, down at Teesside Uni.
Well, less of a lecture really, more of a ramble with references but even so, it made me feel important. I like talking about writing, especially when I'm not talking about my own writing - I always feel like a little bit of a fraud when I'm asked to mutter things about my own writing - I've discovered that I quite like the academic side of the whole thing. The narratology bits and the discourse thingies and the stuff about creating realities and that. All good fun. Obviously I manage to sound slightly more clued up when I do the lecturery things and I bring in handouts because I'm blatantly mint, so yeah, all good fun.

What surprised me though is that when I was asked about what I'm writing now I still managed to sound, partly at least, as if I still knew what I was talking about.

I was talking about the solutions I'd "decided" on to problems that had "become apparent in the narrative or with the perspective." Which I found particularly surprising as I don't remember 'solving' anything. Ever. Least of all in my still-as-yet-unfinished-but-hopefully-ready-soon-manuscript.

Oh. And I'm using words like 'manuscript' now too rather than my generally used: 'pile of rude words'.

It's all very surprising, it turns out that I'm just thoroughly steeped in literature.

I mean, I am an English teacher so obviously some knowledge of books and some ability to speak in at least vague terms about them is necessary, but this new thing I'm doing is a little odd. I'm just one big literary teabag it appears. Tetley's probably, or Typhoo maybe. Own brand most likely. Certainly I'm not Twinings quality, not until I can get His Lord The Great Stephen Fry to Twitter about me, but you have to have ambition.

And I do have DK, so, you know - I'm already half way to quality tea aren't I?

I've forgotten what I was talking about...

... But I have just found some biscuits...

Friday, 14 May 2010

*furious gestured waving* Hey! Shhhhhhhh!! Hey? *jiggling eyebrows and head nodding* Psssst, hey!

i'm writing in lower case so they don't hear me and having nice long sentences to confuse them, just in case. if i'm really lucky they'll get bored and confused halfway through the sentences and then drift off somewhere else...

they've found me.


the students.

they've found the blog, s'why i shut it down for a bit.

still... i think they've already forgotten about it now so i might be safe...

I'll have a shufty about and get back to you...

just hang on a sec...