ReLaunchyness and The Spreading Of My Fame

Right, sorry, bit short notice this - but is anyone free on Tuesday (that's tomorrow, yes) and happen to be in the general North East area?

Only I'm getting Relaunched see.

Not that the last one wasn't wonderful, it was, as they say "most properly and prosperously mint, how".

I can only assume it was the blatent mintyness of the last one which has so inspired this.

Borders Team Valley is hosting a Murder March month, a month celebrating crime writing. Not a month encouraging killing sprees, at least, not as far as I know. I'm not saying there may not be an alternative message which could run through procedings, but for my part, I'll be concentrating on the fiction.

Oh, and the wine. Which has been promised me. Stu. Wine. You promised...

Anyway, the Relaunch:

Borders love me soooooo much they want me to come and launch 9987 all over again, with my geet talented actor, and wine, and coffee in the Team Valley store. Tomorrow. If you fancy it.

Tonight Borders plays host to "Shelia Quigley and to Bykerbooks, a local publisher who are set to release the second RADGEPACKETS collection of short stories in February. Including stories by Roz Southey, Ray Banks, Danny King, Darrell Irving and of course Sheila herself."

And tomrrow:

"The second Murder March night will be devoted to the launch of Nik Jones' fantastic debut novel 9987, as well as Sandra Rowell's Orange-nominated novella MICHAEL. Nik and Sandra, both local authors, will be in-store signing copies of their books as well as talking about their experiences as new crime authors."

See that? Pretty cool eh?

I'm afraid I won't be able to bring DK though. The event is in the Starbucks you see... I don't think he'd cope withthe pressure. Besides, we had a nasty and fairly messy 'incident' with a self heating Nescafe can the other day... It's not safe for him to be out and about at the moment....

Examples of my Genius # 1

Signings…


They’re a bit odd aren’t they?

You see them on tele, all fancy like, long queues, tired signing arm, disappointed crowd when they announce it’s time to pack up and go away.

Proper mint, like.

And mine were almost exactly like that.

Almost.

Except, of course, for the long queues. And for anyone caring that I was packing up and going home. I did have a tired signing arm, but that was largely through lifting grande coffees.

And I spent far more in store than I made. Let’s see…. At fifty pence (each) a book I made… hmmm £12.50. And spent…. Hmmm… Around £30. So, through the genius and magic of maths that gives me… - £17.50.

Ah well, one day it’ll all be worth it. If nothing else it’s got me in the three for section for a bit – and that’s where all the cool kids hang out, how.

Anyways – it was good fun. First one was good, a bit lonely (my Kick Ass Cool PR Guru wasn’t feeling too well, it seemed cruel to then insist she stand with me for four hours… I’m just not that mean. Honest.) but since she had provided me with Postcards it worked well. A scattering of them in the crime section at Borders, on the tills and on the little tables they leave out for you to sit around… It worked well.

But, the second one… Well… It really was an example of my genius.

The postcards stay in my satchel (Manly bag of Masculinity and Buffness). My satchel (Manly bag of Masculinity and Buffness) stays in the car or on my shoulder.

So I arrive. Without my satchel. Cos, like a fool, I’d brought it in into the house the night before to extract some books and stuff from it. And not returned it to the car.

And had forgotten my phone.

So no reinforcements.

Except no, wait, the most cool as Vix is here with me, and she has her ph – oh, no, she’s left it in her other trousers.

Balls.

So – no postcards. How disastrous will this be, how?

I mean, I’m an unknown author – no one will make the trip especially to see me will they, especially not if they know me. And, really, I know full well I would never, ever approach a table with someone sat at and browse through their book.

Because it’s that very English thing – this politeness malarkey – so you flick through it, you talk to the author, you try to sound interested. At this point it’s impossible to put the book down isn’t it? You can’t just drop it can you?

So you take it away, possibly signed, and dump it somewhere else in the shop.

Then run.

I try attacking people – it’s the Crime section afterall, people should be expecting it, and sometimes it works. My Kick Ass Cool PR Guru wanders about placing my book in prominent places.

I steal “Borders Recommends” slips and fill them in – PR Guru sly places them on the Favourites shelf…

And we wait.

And, actually, we do ok.

14 sold, 15 signed. (Oh yes, that’s right! One person actually brought their own copy for me to sign, it was like being a real author. Was cool as, like)

So – next time I need to get better organised.

Next time I might bring DK – get some dancing in the aisles (not with hot beverages though kids – don’t try it at home).

Which reminds me – it’s half term for me next week and so, between looking at piles of marking (then hiding them) and writing (aiming for 500 words a day) I will, I promise, get DK’s Disco Come Back up on YouTube… Somehow…

Honest.

Like….

Oh! And before I forget, go here and vote for me!! Cos, you know, I’m proper mint, how…

Suddenly Deciding That This Isn't The Most Important Thing In The World. Plus: Teething DK Issues

Strange old morning this.

Seems... I dunno... Disjointed? Is that the word I'm grasping for here? It's almost like a Stand-alone Day. As if today is thoroughly unconnected from the rest of time, from life in general.

I don't think I mean this in a day of Momentous Importance type thing, rather as a Day of No Particular Relevance Except That It Arrived, And That It Rained. And That It Was A Day I Took Seriously.

Maybe that's the confusion. I'm not used to taking things seriously. Or, at least, I'm not used to admitting that I am.

It's all very strange.

See, as you (most likely) know 9987, my baby, hits the shelves. Somewhere, I hope, a book shop has opened this morning and it had my book on a shelf. And I'd been planning balloons and parties and fanfares and celebrity appearances and everything. Today's post was going to be mint, properly, massively, kick ass cool. How.

But I dunno.

Maybe, it's because it's raining. Maybe it's because it's a Monday. Maybe because I'm yet to see the book anywhere.

It's not as real as I thought it would be.

Other things are on my mind.

All I've thought about since I was in Primary school, my only, ever, ambition is realised today. I can now, properly, introduce myself as a Writer. Today is a wonderful, drizzling, fog wrapped day.

And I am proud of myself. Which is rare. And it's a good feeling.

But: Other things are on my mind.

I am worried a little, about someone. And, as awful as it sounds, the fact that I am worried is a wonderful thing.

It appears that my priorities may have shifted a little bit.

I love writing, I will always write, even if nothing of mine is ever read by anyone but me I'll continue to scribble notes and sit up late with coffee and keyboard typing and typing and typing.

But, it appears, it may no longer be The Most Important Thing In The World.

It is quite possible that there is something else I am equally passionate about.

It is quite possible that there is something else that I want to give my time to.

It appears that I am taking things seriously. I am, or at least I like to now think of myself - as of today - A Serious Writer. An Actual Writer. And, equally exciting I think, and certainly warranting it's inclusion in this rambling - Not Quite The Launching Post I Expected To Write - post, I am suddenly realising how serious I am about other things.

And it's a little bit scary. And it makes my stomach go all fluffy and odd. And it makes me smile occasionally when no-ones looking. And, this morning, I worry a bit, and hope things will turn out ok, eventually.

Good luck to my baby, but my thoughts are with others. And that, I reckon, is Proper Mint. How.

Plus: Teething DK Issues

Although DK is up and ready for his debut feature, I'm having some problems transferring footage to legage to eyeballage which would, of course, enable you to see.

If you catch my drift...

But it's coming. Honest.


Oh, and before I forget.

Competition results will be announced - hopefully, tonight. The judges were locked still in debate late last night and haven't, as yet, passed on any winners to me. I suspect though, that they have drank all my wine...