"He was rude. I watched him push past others, heading for the pornography section. He probably used the oil in his hair for lube. Bastard." - Jamieson Wolf
The judges loved 'how much we hated this man', which is an odd comment to make about a winner I'll grant you, but hey - I had nowt to do with it. Personally I loved this one and it was one that caught my eye straight away. More than anything it was Jamieson's final, damning verdict that I enjoyed most.
"She entered with her own soundtrack. Her bouncy stride and fluid hair moving to the rhythm of a private theme tune, her finale a disarming smile." - Kat Wright
One judge commented on how much they loved the image of the 'fluid hair' another on 'entering with her own soundtrack'. I have to admit I too loved that idea, the movement as music, was geet mint, like.
"She's red-haired, red-faced and breathless. Not single – she’s with a list. Shame about the scar across her cheek. It looks like a zip" Rachel Green
The final judge had the final say on this one "I love the 'zip' bit, it's minging, it's such a cool and cruel description!" And yeah, well, can't argue with that either.
So, congratulations ladies and gentleman, a signed copy is winging it's way to you as we speak, I hope it's worth the effort.
Because here were so many great ones though, I thought I'd include some of the ones so close to getting freebies. So, no books I'm afraid, but much love and respect, yo.
"Inside, she’s Grace Kelly. Cheekbones. Glassy tones. Tulle petticoats . . . Outside, Alan’s bearded, bellied, sweaty-palmed. Rents ‘Rambo’ for the thousandth time – wishes nonetheless."