Sunday, 17 August 2008

A Winter Offensive


I'm not having this. I'm fed up.

All you people, yes you, with your 'Oh, where did the summer go?' and your 'Not til long til Christmas.' It's not on.

It's no wonder the sun is so shy, so eager to hide, so lacking in confidence when the slightest bit of cloud have you searching through your decorations box looking for tinsel. Can't you see what you're doing?

I have three weeks left of my summer holiday (yes, I know, but I work hard, occasionally. In fact I vividly remember a Tuesday in April when I turned up to teach all my lessons, and marked stuff, and planned stuff. So there. But anyway.) and I'm not giving up on summer until I'm back on coffee making duty in September.

It doesn't matter that DK has been feeding me Lemsips for the last few days because I have a bit of a cold. In fact, no, scratch that. I Am A Man - Thus I have Exploding Head Death. Not a cold at all, it is in fact a serious and life threatening condition.

Nor does it matter that my insistance in walking home from Pubjob has resulted in me getting soaking wet and cold every night this week.

In fact, I'm even chosing to ignore the fact that I went into Matalan for a decent shirt yesterday and found that all the summer clothes are now gone, and large, bulky coats and jumpers have sprouted from the squeaky lino flooring.

None of this matters. I accept the fact that Winter is the natural state up on my frozen hilltop. That's not going to stop me fighting for the summer though. I will wear shorts dammit. I will saunter about in t-shirts. I will eat picnics, even if it's from the front seat of my car because the parks are all now swamp.


Oh good, Lemsip time.


Caroline said...

But 2009 annuals are out.

So, alas, Merry Christmas.
I may even put up a few decorations tonight.


Kate said...

It's that Caroline, causing trouble again with her "nearly Christmas"...

And I know that the annuals are out and that we also have next years calendars in several different places in the shop...

BUT IT'S STILL AUGUST! (and I want to make the most of summer too) xxx

DJ Kirkby said...

We went for a picnic yesterday and by the end of it we were wearing jumpers and still freezing cold but we refused to go in is summer damnit!

watching9987 said...

Dammit Smailes - Stop wishing my summer away. Grrrrr x

Kat and DJ - Thats the spirit. Bollocks to the cold and wet and miserable weather, so what if the shops are already rubbing their frost bitten hands hands together excitedly drooling over Christmas?
It's summer, and we love it.

Megan said...

In our house's new philosophy of not moaning about something unless you're going to do something about it, I have told mr megan that he is not allowed to complain about the weather unless he's going to book us another holiday - so here's hoping

watching9987 said...

Yes, who knows, could be on your way to sunny Scarborough any day now :)

B said...

Nik! Was so great to meet you. You are funny. But I fear not as funny as me, when I've been drinking too much. Ooops!

I didn't think it was winter. But the rain tonight has maybe convinced me.

See you again soon! And get onto facebook!

B said...

ps my darling D says he is more likely to read your book if they are zombie lesbian nurses. should i just pretend to him?

watching9987 said...

I don't think anyone is as funny as you when you've had a drink - certainly no one can get a joke in edgeways... :)

And it's not winter - surely my stubborn resistance to umbrellas or coats has convinced you that we need to pull together on this summer thing. I dripped onto my menu, all for the summmer.

And yes - I do actually have a Zombie in it. Honest.


B said...

I don't think it's deliberately funny though. If only I could bottle the essence for when I'm sober! I will try not to be so terribly loud next time :)

When I got in last night I just left my shoes on the doormat. This morning when I went out there were pools of water in them. Pools! This is wrong I tell you. Apparently we might be having an Indian summer though, Sept-Oct? That will make up for August being so naff :)

I will tell D about the zombies. He'll be so excited!