Friday, 26 September 2008

Hiding Behind Piles of Green Books

So... another back-at-work post, once more from behind a pile of Big Green Exercise Books.

I'm hiding or, perhaps, I am camouflaged. Blending in seamlessly with my academic surroundings, child's exercise book open on the desk in front of me, no one just has realised their mistake. No yet has spotted I am a fraud...

It astounds me that I am allowed to do this. I teach, stood at the front of the room, or wandering about making suggestions and corrections and, occasionally, fairly poor jokes. And all the time I am convinced I am about to be found out.

At some point there will be a knock at the door and all this will be over.

I've got the right degree, I've got the right teaching qualifications, I can talk the talk and generally I think I'm pretty good at what I do... But I'm blatantly not an adult. I'm a twenty something year old child.

I am playing hide and seek with my Head of Department, crouched behind the Big Green Books. How mature am I?

10 comments:

B said...

aw bless nik. you do realise that nearly everyone feels the same? it just gets worse the further on you get, too, apparently. most people feel like frauds who are just waiting to be found out.

if you're a good teacher, that's 95% of it all sorted. the rest isn't that important. as long as you're not actively damaging the kids with the other 5%, you're doing fine.

see ya in just over 12 hours - scary! xx

Lady in red said...

I have to agree with B I often feel that I am younger than my own children yet I am supposedly 'the adult' in this home.

I am supposedly very good at my job, OK I love my job I get to tell terrible jokes to people I don't know and the innuendos I come out with are endless, but at the end of the day I am there to make money for my employers. Not sure if they really know what they have hired.

I hide behind a pinstripe suit and a computer but behind the disguise I am having a ball. A collegue was fired today and now I am feeling omg now they will realise what I am really like.

oh and I didn't use the widget to come back here, I found you listed in my favourites so you must have done something right.

Chris said...

Nah, you're not a fraud :D

You'd get a job playing up front for Newcastle after tonight like, scored a couple of pretty good goals.

trousers said...

Haven't read the post (blame red wine) but will be coming back to your blog.

Great to meet you earlier today :)

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Nik,

how mature are you? Well, it sounds as though you are just about as mature as the rest of us who feel like we are children masquerading in adult bodies lots of the time. The older you get, the stranger it seems that you never get caught out....

It was very lovely to meet you yesterday at Cas's signing, and I am looking forward to reading the very mysteriously titled 9987.

Best wishes,

Ms M

Megan said...

as mature as vintage cheddar
(how goes novel 2?)

Jon M said...

I'm ancient and I still think everyone's a little bit older than me...good to meet you the other day!

watching9987 said...

Wow, look at all of you being so nice. Makes me all warm inside :)

(and sort of stalling actually Megan... Still, it could maybe do with having a rest...)

B said...

i tried to be special mean to you saturday, just so you didn't come to expect people being nice, but didn't manage it. dammit :)

see ya tomoz! x

DJ Kirkby said...

Ah what can I say? The head probably feels the same way about him/herself as you do about yourself... At least you've got a teaching qualification! I don't (yikes) but they still let me keep teaching Uni students for some reason...